There is so much advice for wedding couples out there, from photographers, venues, florists, in magazines, blogs, books – but very little from actual couples who have experienced things first hand. I recently reached out to some of my couples and asked :

If you could give one piece of advice to a couple that is currently planning a wedding, what would it be?

I wasn’t sure what type of responses I would receive, I only know what type of advice I would give, which I have written about before (Dear Wedding Couple). The answers that came in were absolutely incredible and I am so excited to share them with you! A big thank you to all of the wonderful clients who took the time to answer!

xo

1. Sneak away and find some time for yourselves

“Find time for just you and your partner to sneak off for a few minutes to embrace and really enjoy that you’re married. It helps slow things down for the two of you and allows you to really take in what’s happening all around you. Breathe together and maybe even watch your loved ones from a distance. All of that joy and all of those amazing people laughing together? They’re together because of you. That’s pretty neat.

You’ve worked so hard to get everything in place and to set things in motion; now it’s time to sit back and really enjoy your day. Things may not be running on time, it may be a torrential downpour (as it was at our reception), your sister may not be able to find her reading for your ceremony, you may not get your cue to walk down the aisle, your grandparents may not be able to make it after all. It may not be exactly what you planned, but it will be amazing. In fact, sometimes when you have little unexpected things (like my sister not finding her reading right away) it makes it even better, more memorable, and the laughter that pops up breaks the tension a bit.

Try to let the little things go and just enjoy yourself. And if things are going really south and it is getting to you, don’t be afraid to take some time by yourself or with your favourite person to cry it out and then shake it off. That’s allowed. Whatever you need to do to ensure you can enjoy yourself, do it.”

-Frances and Joel (Check out more of their beautiful intimate backyard wedding)

2.Elope

“Eloping won’t be for every bride and groom. You are, of course, trading in a traditional “big day” for something much quieter and very, very intimate. It forces you to find the heart of the moment with your partner and ignore most of the frills that traditional weddings often include, but it isn’t as extreme of a decision as it sounds. We both had very supportive and understanding families, and overall, didn’t need to compromise on much. I still tossed my bouquet (in the ocean!), we danced together, we got hilarious marital advice from strangers wherever we went, and we enjoyed amazing food.

We created a very special place for us in Newfoundland and were able to fully take in every second of our day together. Choosing to elope was the best decision could have made for our wedding. We came out of this experience stress-free and giddy with excitement. I cannot think of a more perfect day, or a better way to start our life together.”

-Alessandra and Andrew (Check out more of their Newfoundland Elopement)

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3. Make the most of those 24 hours

“It is so important to remember your wedding is one day. One day! At the end of the day – after 24 hours – the flowers will fade, the dress will be packed up, the food will be eaten, and the decorations taken down. Make sure you create wedding memories that will last longer than 24 hours. The people you invite, the laughter created and the emotions felt will be the things you smile about on the way to your honeymoon!
Creating a day that will enable good memories by celebrating you and honouring your loved ones is timeless. That is truly how to have a stress free day!”

-Veronica and Justin

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4. Do things your way

“As soon as you’re engaged there will be friends and family hoping you’ll take their advice based on how they’ve seen weddings done. Everyone is well-meaning but all the advice and “inspiration” from wedding blogs, Pinterest and trade shows can get overwhelming. On the one day that you’re celebrating your love, don’t feel like you have to conform to some standard.

We just couldn’t picture ourselves in the center of so much pomp and circumstance and wanted to keep things intimate. Doing things our way meant getting ready together over some wine and cheese and then taking the subway to Toronto City Hall where we were married in front of our 8 closest family members. Midway through our photo session together, we got thirsty and stopped in for a beer at a nearby patio! It all felt like a normal summer day in the city for us; we just happened to have scheduled our marriage in the middle of it.
That night, we had an amazing family style meal at a local restaurant and just dined on the patio with all the other customers. Both of our moms had originally wanted us to have a more traditional wedding celebration so they could invite extended family. But by the end of the night, they both realized that they were able to talk with us all day and really absorb what the day was about. They warmed up to the intimacy of the event and gushed that it really was “us”.

There are so many traditions surrounding weddings and just doing them for the sake of it never made sense to us. My advice is to really think about traditions and consider whether you really value them. We wanted to put our budget towards the things that mattered and dropped everything else. For us, that meant getting the best photographer we could (we booked our date based on Jennifer’s availability), the most beautiful bouquet (from Coriander Girl) and an amazing family style meal (at Fat Pasha).

So do you. This is your day and should represent what your relationship is about. And I promise that when you do, you’ll have absolutely no regrets.”

-Sylvia and Matt (See more of their intimate Toronto City Hall wedding)

5.Choose the right photographer

“My advice (and I swear you didn’t pay me to say this) is to go with a photographer that provokes an emotional response from you when you’re looking at their photos of strangers. I went with a price driven choice initially, only to stress out hard for 6 months, knowing it wasn’t right. I then booked the person that suited us, both style and personality wise, and didn’t worry again. I didn’t think about the little things of the day; the flowers, the jewelry I wore, even what we ate, but the photos ended up capturing all of the people in my life with such sincerity, love and happiness that they truly are priceless.”

-Janey and Rich (See more from their beautiful New Zealand wedding)

Thank you for reading

xo